Punch Duck Love

For last Sunday’s exam, they asked the students to arrive at least an hour before their scheduled “appointment” because they usually run way ahead of schedule. Although we were 15 minutes to perform each skill, usually the students don’t need the full allotted time and so things move quickly.

So when I arrived at 10A for my 11A time slot, I was greeting by a gaggle of white lab coat garbed students and told they were running WAY behind schedule. At that point, none of the10a students had gone. At first I was grateful for the extra time to review my notes one last time. Periodically I would steal a look around the room to see how the other students were using this time. I think it would be an interesting sociological study to be in a room with a bunch of accelerated nursing students waiting to take an exam. We are a strange strange bunch.

Some sat in the big comfy chairs silently rocking and muttering to themselves, occasionally letting out an expletive when they realized they had forgotten a step. Others quietly paced the room making large circular gestures with their arms. Others stood in the corner silently acting out the motions of a dressing change like a crazed nurse/mime.

Frustrated that we were trapped inside on a gorgeous Sunday morning, a few of us decided to take our mutterings outside. We looked out over the expansive green lawn surrounding the health science building and were treating by the site of a momma duck walking proudly across the lawn followed by a little baby duck, waddling back and forth, his short little legs struggling to keep up. Papa duck took up the rear looking surveying the scene for signs of danger. The little family got 1/2 way across before they got a look at us and decided to return to the safety of the bushes. (They apparently had no desire to receive a dressing change. Kinda like that scene from One Crazy Summer when the boy scout troupe finds John Cusack lying in the sand dunes and they cry out “SAVE HIM” and in the next scene he is covered mummy-like with gauze and bandages and slings.)

As time wore on, our anxiety slowly turned to agitation. “I could have slept another 45 minutes!” exclaimed one student. Sleep is rare and precious item. “The more I sit here, the more I am going to psyche myself out” exclaimed another. “I am so stressed right now, I want to punch something!” said a student sprawled across a table. “I am so stressed, I could punch a baby!” said another. So I said, “let’s go get that duck!” Then we all laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. I clarified that I was indeed only joking about wanting to punch the little baby duck, and they all laughed and said, “Oh really Julie, cuz we thought you were serious.”

You all know how I did on the exam, but I wanted to add one last item about the day. So after completing the skills, the instructor, Professor Love, told me that I was going to be a great nurse. She said, “You have a great manner about you. You are very business-like and efficient and competent in your skills, but you also manage to have a very calming and pleasing manner. I don’t know how you are feeling on the inside, but on the outside you are very soothing.” She then asked if I had thought about what specialty I was interested in. I told her that I still wasn’t sure, having absolutely no and wanted to approach each field with an open mind. Then I told her that I would welcome any feedback from the staff, if they thought that based on skills they thought I was better at than others, and/or based on my personality, if they thought there was a specialty I was more suited for. I told her I was possibly thinking about OR nursing, and she said “Oh no…you need to be with patients who are awake. You will be excellent with them.” She asked if I had ever though about nursing midwifery. She said if she ever had a baby, she would want someone like me to be her midwife. That made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.